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I'm voice posting again. We're sitting in Bob Evans... I'm going to read to you... [Restaurant noise can be heard in the background.]




(Aside): I'm going to embarrass myself.



Alexis: You certainly could, Mother Sarah.



Me: Will you stop calling me mother? ... [Alexis says something else in the background.] ... She's been calling me Mother Sarah and Reverend Canon Sarah because I've been theologizing, right here in the middle of the restaurant.



Anyway, I just want you to know a few of these food choices you can have from this restaurant ... because it's amusing. Uh ... (clears throat) and I want you to know that "you can substitute any savory side at no additional charge." Of course, that's not substituting. You can have an "open-faced roast beef," which is a "fork-tender chunks of roast beef served over Texas toast smothered with our hearty beef gr'r'ravy! Served with mashed potatoes and glazed baby carrots." Or you can have meatloaf and gravy. "Two slices of meatloaf, prepared fresh with our SECRET recipe blend of Bob Evans sausage angus beef, brushed with our SPECIAL glaze and smothered with R'R'RICH beef gravy. Served with mashed potatoes and green beans." And there are many other choices to choose from.



I also wanted you to know... [Server comes, takes plates away, fills drinks.] I wanted you to know a little bit about the, um... They have BOTTOMLESS BEVERAGES such as freshly brewed coffee (regular or stupid decaf. (laughs) They have hot tea, again regular or stupid decaf. They have hot chocolate or ice COOOOLD lemonade. They have "BACK! Strawberry lemonade." It does say, "back" with an exclamation point. (giggles) And it goes on and on.



And then of course we have carb-cutting tips (read in a snotty voice).



  • Skip the bread.

  • Substitute grilled chicken for fried chicken or wildfire chicken salad.

  • Use buttermilk ranch, light ranch or blue cheese salad dressing

  • Choose slow-roas.

  • Choose lower-carb sides like salad with no croutons or broccoli flourets or greens with ham).

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lior [...] don't>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<p>
I'm voice posting again. We're sitting in Bob Evans... I'm going to read to you... [Restaurant noise can be heard in the background.]</p>
<lj-cut text="Additional transcription is behind the cut.">
<p>
(Aside): I'm going to embarrass myself.</p>
<p>
Alexis: You certainly could, Mother Sarah.</p>
<p>
Me: Will you stop calling me mother? ... [Alexis says something else in the background.] ... She's been calling me Mother Sarah and Reverend Canon Sarah because I've been theologizing, right here in the middle of the restaurant.</p>
<p>
Anyway, I just want you to know a few of these food choices you can have from this restaurant ... because it's amusing. Uh ... (clears throat) and I want you to know that "you can substitute any savory side at no additional charge." Of course, that's not substituting. You can have an "open-faced roast beef," which is a "fork-tender chunks of roast beef served over Texas toast <b>smothered</b> with our <b>hearty</b> beef gr'r'ravy! Served with mashed potatoes and glazed baby carrots." Or you can have meatloaf and gravy. "Two slices of meatloaf, prepared fresh with our <b>SECRET</b> recipe blend of Bob Evans sausage angus beef, brushed with our <b>SPECIAL</b> glaze and smothered with <b>R'R'RICH</b> beef gravy. Served with mashed potatoes and green beans." And there are many other choices to choose from.</p>
<p>
I also wanted you to know... [Server comes, takes plates away, fills drinks.] I wanted you to know a little bit about the, um... They have <b>BOTTOMLESS BEVERAGES</b> such as freshly brewed coffee (regular or <b>stupid decaf</b>. (laughs) They have <b>hot tea</b>, again regular or stupid decaf. They have hot chocolate or ice <b>COOOOLD</b> lemonade. They have "BACK! Strawberry lemonade." It does say, "back" with an exclamation point. (giggles) And it goes on and on.</p>
<p>
And then of course we have carb-cutting tips (read in a snotty voice).</p>
<ul>
<li>Skip the bread.</li>
<li>Substitute grilled chicken for fried chicken or wildfire chicken salad.</li>
<li>Use buttermilk ranch, light ranch or blue cheese salad dressing</li>
<li>Choose slow-roas.</li>
<li>Choose lower-carb sides like salad with no croutons or broccoli flourets or greens with ham).</li>
<liOr my personal favorite, which isn't written on here: Don't eat here.</li>
</ul>
<p>
We have fat-cutting tips:</p>
<ul>
<li>Hold the margarine on the bread or potatoes. (What good is bread or potatoes with no margarine?</li>
<li>Choose a fresh fruit dish for home fries in egg combinations. (makes a gagging sound)</li>
<li>Substitute a garden salad for French fries with sandwiches. (But I could make one of those at home.)</li>
<li>[reads a couple more similar to carb-cutting tips] Or as I said, <b>don't eat here</b>.</li>
</ul>
<p>
For more nutritional information visit www.bobevans.com.</p>
<p>
"Give the gift of farm fresh goodness with a Bob Evans gift card, available in any denomination: Methodist, Lutheran or Episcopal.</p>
<p>
[Reads Bob Evans Kid Time section very excitedly and copyright section quickly like an advertiser, then spends quite a while looking for desserts but can't find them on the braille menu, makes comments about what a shame this is.]</p>
</lj-cut>

<lj-phonepost journalid='5722017' dpid='19347' />

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