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walking and thinking

I walked to campus this morning. I had a significant amount of pain; and I wondered if it might be easier for me to ride in. But walking provides me time to think and pray--and time to reflect and wonder. Things happen when I walk that would not happen at any othe time. Loretta does things that amaze me: things that remind me why she is in my life, things that teach me, things that humble me. And God does things: arranges the order of my steps in ways that remind me that He is God.

I managed to leave 45 minutes before I wanted to arrive. This is a battle that I fought all summer long, and I never won it until now. In order to do this, I had to aim to leave an hour before I wanted to arrive. I had to do this because invariably I have to run around and collect things I have forgotten that I will need during the day, take care of last-minute details I thought wouldn't be so important, etc. Setting out so early, I had time for Loretta to slow her pace in order to account for my pain. And I had time to appreciate the fact that she did it. I had time to wonder at the way we can work together so smoothly when I am not in a hurry. I can speak gently to her at street crossings to remind her to cross straight; and I can stop to pay attention to the reason for her hesitation along the way. Sometimes her hesitation is about nothing more than the fact that I amm getting in a hurry. As soon as I stopped and pulled back on the harness handle, indicating my readiness to trust, she went ahead as if everything was all right.

Isn't my life with God like that sometimes? Does He stop the whole plan because I have taken matters into my own hands instead of letting Him lead the way? When I let go of the plan and trust, He resumes it. Why do I insist on controlling the ministry so often?

Two people spoke to me along the way. One was a stranger. One was a friend. Had my timing been any different in getting started, my pace been altered, I would not have met them. What do I miss when I am in a hurry, whenI try so hard to control my life? How many opportunities for fellowship do I miss?

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
datajana
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:48 pm (UTC)
Wonderful and inspiring post.

I have a tendency to want to control things because I either want them done a certain way or have them done in a certain amount of time. Also, I've discovered that I am starting to have anxiety issues, which I am going to talk to my new neurologist about as soon as I'm married.

But when it becomes too much to handle, I start to talk to God and ask him to help me and guide me. It's almost an immediate change and things run more smoothly. It's wonderful!

I think I'm going to ask him to help me with a few faults of mine, the first being to cut down on my cursing. It's a way for me to vent, but sometimes I get too heavy with it. It's one of the few ways I can calm down when I'm aggravated, angry, frustrated, annoyed, etc.

I need to work on my fiance, too. He curses like a sailor sometimes, but I have managed to get him to stop saying the "G D" word. That's one curse word I hate with a passion. It took me a few months, but he has stopped, and I'm thankful that he has.
calledisrael
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
i like your reflections. :-)
miraclemoments
Sep. 18th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
What a wonderful and inspiration post. This really reminds me how often us as human beings are in a hurry so often that we forget the little gifts He has for us each day. This is a sad fact, but one that is quite evident in our lives. It's like He purposely lets us reflect (like you got to do on your walk) and reminds us of how beautiful life is.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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Sarah Blake LaRose
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