Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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I'm awake!

I did say sleep would help my frame of mind...

Apparently I got some decent sleep last night. I was awakened rather suddenly this morning by a feeling that something was wrong with someone at church--actually that someone had died--and I regretted that I won't be there. I don't know that this isn't just my mind playing some kind of game with my feelings about not being able to go to church and my desire to get to know some particular people, creating a scenario to show me that my "friendship" wouldn't be meaningful to them in this situation. I don't really like that thought; but I don't like the thought that the person may have died either. I guess I will know at some point later this week, and in the meantime I will pray.

In spite of that, I do feel refreshed this morning and more ready to face the day than I expected to, especially since I stayed awake until 2:00 a.m. updating some info in these journal entries. I felt it necessary to alter instances of C and J's names to protect their privacy--I doubt that anyone who knows them reads here, but occasionally the world is small and I think that in the interest of their comfort and safety it's best for their names not to be used here. In the process of doing that, I got the urge to put text on the cuts that shows up on my main page. It was kind of fun. I would beat myself up for wasting time when I should have been sleeping, but I think it was a good way to wind down.

I got up without hesitation when the alarm went off, and some of the feeling of emotional/spiritual heaviness that has been with me for most of the week was gone. Hmm... Maybe I needed to write about the interview, and maybe I needed to have fun with the cuts.


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