I am really confused right now.
Some of us just had a huge discussion about healing and faith. Someone said that she thinks healing should be a part of Christianity, like salvation. I don't think I agree with that, but I am not sure because I don't know a thing that the Bible says about it. I believe that there is a reason for some of the unfortunate things that happen to us, like my blindness. I explained that my parents prayed for my healing for years, and the most God has done has been to allow me to live past that first 24 hours.
"Are you sure your parents didn't just say, 'Just as long as You let her live?'" she asked.
Well, to be honest, that makes me angry. For Her to call my parents' faith into question, if that is the correct interpretation! That was my first impression. But maybe she was just stimulating discussion.
But I know that my parents did pray for healing. I have prayed for healing, and many other people around me have prayed for my healing. Three years ago Kevin B. and I prayed, and I was able to get my glasses. I considered that a "healing." I don't think that we lacked the amount of faith that was needed. I know the verse that says that "a mustard seed of faith" is enough to move mountains. There have been times in my life when I have been on the very edge of giving up my faith, but the last grain of faith I had was enough to bring about a change in my life. I know from those experiences that I do not lack faith.
I realized once again that I need to surround myself with wise people, people who I know have studied the Bible objectively in spite of all they have been told. I need to be strong enough to question the values that I have been taught, not in doubt but in reality. That is something I have to do before I try to help anyone else to understand the Bible. It is the only way that I can get a clear idea of what I believe. And I know that I want and need to build my beliefs on a foundation that will stand when it is brought into question. I have to be able to say, "This is what I believe, and this is why." Just believing what I was told when I was little is not enough anymore. I have to establish my foundation so that when I do have children I will be able to teach them well.
So I will talk to some wise people. I will find out more about how to understand and apply the Bible to my life. And I will read. I will read until I have come to the end, and then I will read some more. I will read again and again. We also talked about state schools and how people need Christian friends and people to support them so that they will not fall away from their faith. I know all that. I believe all that. But I also believe that people are not my foundation. God is my foundation, and nothing can separate me from His love... No matter whether I am a student at the University of Northern Colorado or Stephen F. Austin, whether I am a student at Anderson, or whether I am a missionary in Zaire, I am always in His care. He is always protecting me. And I agree with something a friend of my parents said once: "Things happen to us so that God can work in us so that God can work through us."