Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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thinking about healing again

Well, it's Easter, and I should be focusing on Your resurrection. Six years ago today I felt Your presence very strongly. Strangely, I am not focusing on either of those things. For some reason I am focusing on healing.

I probably would not be thinking about it if someone had not brought it up. It may have been the last thing I would ever want seriously. But now I do want it. At least, I think I do.

Now comes the hard part. I know that I need faith to be healed. I also know that healing needs to be in Your plan for me. Your will is the one that gets done. I do want it that way. If Your will is not for me to be healed, then I can and will accept that. But if You will heal me, please give me the faith to believe that and the strength to pray for it. Don't let me be afraid of the good things. Don't let me hinder You from giving me the thing I desireYet more doubts are setting in. I know that physical perfection is hardly important. Receiving sight could hurt as well as help me. And my desire might not stop there. It might be enough for a while, but then I might forget how precious it was. I have been here long enough to know that no amount of ability or possession is ever enough for people.

Eternity is what's important. Your love and approval is the only thing that can ever satisfy me.

The last thing is that I am not the one who needs healing. Granddad is nearly helpless in a hospital in Houston, and Granny has cancer again. Those lives are threatened. I have lived my life very well and could continue to live just as well without my sight.


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