Where to go in the journal from here?

Since the postponing of my surgery has cause quite an uproar inside of me, I suppose I should begin my exploration of what it means for me to be blind and why I felt I had to discuss the issue of healing at the outset of this journal. I do not expect this to be comfortable or easy. I am sure that is why I have put it off for so long. But if the healing of my entire being is to take place, then I cannot ask for the healing of my eyes without admitting the truth about why I want what I ask for.