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one more update and thoughts on roommates

Despite the infection, today has been a good day. Alexis and I spent the morning reading books together. I was awake for most of the time but dozed while she read some dog guide material. It was good to have her in the room with me. Coping with these infections when I'm alone is extremely difficult emotionally. Even just waking up a bit out of my sick fog and hearing someone else puttering around feels comforting.

I soaked in the tub several times with shea butter and lavender--and oh, goodness, that lavender smells wonderful!!! I had absolutely no idea what it smelled like, and I've been working with the stuff for over three years! I just thought I knew what it smelled like! The baths helped to break my fever and loosen up my congestion a bit. By the afternoon, I was feeling quite a bit better. I got up, and we made a dish with hamburger, vegetables, and macaroni noodles. I spiced it up a bit--my normal thing to do--and when we sat down to eat, I was amazed at how spicy it tasted! Alexis said it wasn't so spicy, and I came to the conclusion that all this time my sense of taste has been as weak as my sense of smell.

Dad brought up boxes that had arrived over the last week, including Alexis' computer, and we got her set up without too much fuss. It's starting to sink in that I have a roommate and not a guest now. I hadn't realized until January or so how much I had missed sharing my house with someone. At the same time, I adjusted well to living alone after leaving Florida; and I'll have some personal adjustments to make with this change. We talked this morning about the fact that even my cats are responding to the change and they need my support with the transition. Sable started guarding the food and the litter box, and I put a stop to that right away and made a point to give her a bit of extra attention and help her redefine her territory. It seems she's having difficulties sharing the living room with Inca since Alexis has moved into the room that Inca used to define as hers: even the cats have gotten used to having their own large spaces despite the fact that they can coexist very nicely in a small space if necessary.

Some of the adjustments are very positive: I am continually amazed at how much easier things are when there are two of us to work together on a task such as putting away the leftovers when I cook up something in bulk to be frozen. It's a small task, but I hate it after spending the whole afternoon cooking. For that matter, the cooking itself is better. This afternoon Alexis set to work chopping veggies for the dinner dish and I did another part of it that I felt competent to do with my less-than-adequate concentration. This is the kind of stuff that overwhelms me so much when I'm sick and keeps me from eating well--and I end up wasting a lot of good veggies over it!

I am aware that I tend to be the dominant personality, and I'm trying to strike a balance between making suggestions because they're useful or there's a legitimate reason and insisting on my way just because I don't want to do something different. Anytime two people share space, there are things to work out, and the two have different lifestyles that may clash. So Alexis and I may find that our lifestyles do clash a bit at times, and how we will deal with that is an unknown right now. I've not been too happy about the fact that I've been sick in bed as soon as she's gotten here both times. Stuck at home in bed is not the person I'd like to be, especially since I've had surgery that's supposed to improve my situation!

Falling asleep...


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 22nd, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
Can I just say how proud I am of both of you? I love seeing how you work through this transition, and I'm learning a lot from your updates.
May. 22nd, 2006 03:10 pm (UTC)
the updates
I'm glad the updates are helpful... I've had a slew of roommates in my lifetime, and neither of us want to just air our dirty laundry. Everything I put up here is here because I hope it's enlightening for other people as well as because a journal is helpful to me and the feedback is useful. I hope all of that makes sense.
May. 22nd, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC)
How old is Alexis? I think that you will be much stronger for going through the ups and downs of adjusting to living with someone--especially since I am guessing that you are now also mom too. It is not as if you have just gotten a roomate if that makes any sense... It can be challenging to adjust to all of those things especially if you do have health problems. Again, I think though that while it may be sort of rocky for you at times, you will be all that much stronger for having gone through it all.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


Sarah Blake LaRose
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