Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose
3kitties

  • Mood:
  • Music:

talk with Elaine and a dream


Tonight I called Elaine. I never knew and still today do not know how sick she is. She wasn't there, and Bob sounded kind of funny. After I hung up, I wondered: If she died, would he have the heart to tell me. I think he knows that she never told me how sick she was. She did not want to worry me. Would I ever find out?




I dreamed about Elaine the night before I left. I knew that I was not going to see her before I came back here, and I did not know if she would be alive until May. I dreamed that I went to a restaurant with her. After we ate, she took me in an office and kept pointing to a lot of file cabinets. "I want you to finish what I have begun," she told me. But I woke up before I could find out what it was that she had begun. Now I wonder. What is it that she would like to see me accomplish? What could I do that would give her peace? Was that the only chance I would ever have to find out how she would want me to go on?



I wanted so much to see her when I was home! I wanted to tell her that she was my mentor. She was one of the people who really believed in me. But now I am afraid and angry to think that I may never have a chance to tell her any of that. Why hadn't I done it sooner?


Subscribe

  • I do still exist

    For those who are still reading (and I do see that a few are still here), I am posting a very, very short summary, like one of those very short…

  • Tired of tests yet?

    Just testing another ap. I think I don't like it, but it does update both blogger and Lj and seems less clunky than the other LJ app. So far the best…

  • testing

    I am testing the IPhone app to see how accessible it is. Supposedly you can do a cut but I think I have to get skilled at selecting a lot of text.…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments