July 20th, 2004

3kitties

ramblings about trust


A couple of weeks ago, my pastor said that the greatest enemy of passion is drudgery. I've thought about that a lot lately.



My pastor is someone I've come to respect a lot spiritually. I feel very safe talking with him and even being corrected by him. It would hurt, but I think it wouldn't feel condemning even if it triggered memories. I think I could talk to him honestly about whatever was triggered and he would understand that I need to work through a memory and I'm not just being resistent or something. That's true authority, and it's the kind of authority that makes me very willing to trust and yield. Of course, he is a human and he makes mistakes, but he also admits them and that makes trust a lot easier.


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3kitties

big health problem


This morning I was having extreme confusion, weakness, and dizziness, and it was really scaring me because I had three episodes in three days. My heart rate was jumping up 30 to 35 beats when I went from sitting to standing. Amy got very insistent that I should get checked out, so I went to the emergency room.


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