Presenter is Harvey Herman
Do not have a sense of superiority or inferiority. Real people are approachable. Humility does not mean thinking negatively about myself. It means recognizing that my life and gifts come from God and making Him Lord of my life.
Put loving friends at the top of my list. Spend time with them, especially God. Open up. Be real with friends. Pray together. A person of integrity is at peace with the past, present, and future.
People are drawn to TRANSPARENT people. This is not necessarily telling everything to everyone. It is being willing to share when sharing is needed. Be vulnerable; do not be afraid of being wounded. Let Christ defend when defense is needed. People can ridicule me, but people can also identify with me. It allows for giving and receiving. I have to take risks to go anywhere.
Have faith. Faith requires a jump into the unknown, but faith is in God, who calls us to safety.
Do friendly things. Initiate. Build by acts of caring.
Give friends space. Don't control people. Three types of controllers are those who want things their way, correct others, and use humor to put down or criticize others; those who always have problems and are always desperate; and those who need to be needed.
Create more space by being slow to criticize. When criticizing, be on the other person's side.
Encourage being real. Allow for solitude. Encourage friends to branch out. Don't be a leech.
Creating Warm Friendships
Use your body. Don't be afraid of touching. Affirm people. When we focus on someone's problem, we imprison him/her in it. See him/her as Jesus does. Affirming is more than complimenting. It is appreciating the fruit of the Spirit in someone's life.
Be real in conversation. What has God been saying to you? How's your time management? How are your relationships? How do you feel about yourself today? How can I pray for you?
Listen, especially to what is not said. Ask questions the other person will enjoy answering. Never break a confidence unless the person is self-destructive. Speak before intervening in this situation. Tell the person you appreciate their trust.
Show emotion. Hiding emotions makes people hard to love as well as hard to hurt. Communicate needs.
Forgive freely. Don't stay angry.