notes about friendships

Yesterday I finished typing out the notes from last year's SALT. The last thing I typed was the notes from Harvey Herman's talk about friendships. He said there are three kinds of controllers: people who want their own way and criticize a lot, people who always have "problems," and people who always want to be needed. I could admit that I sometimes do the first two things. It was (and is) harder to admit that I am also number 3. My life is often driven by the desire to please others and to be needed, to be useful. I thought this was so righteous and Christlike, but the truth is that it makes me feel good when someone else needs me. I have a reason to live--and that reason for living is based on another person instead of on Jesus Christ and His love for me.