There is a reason my struggle continues: lack of a close relationship with You. I know You meet us where we are; but You also tell us to follow You, and what happens as the result of our not following You is our own responsibility.
The question keeps crossing my mind: "Do you really want what I have for you?" If I really wanted it, I would press on in spite of my doubts and fatigue. I know so much and am too tired to apply it! Something has worn me down. Your Word seems to be applicable to others' lives, but not to my own.