I've been working with About.com on their blindness site for a few months. We used to have to fill in template files for our links pages (called subject pages) with all the data in HTML code and then upload them. Well, they've decided too many people were doing them incorrectly, so they've designed this little data entry tool which is supposed to be "easier to use". It's going to be slow as can be for me with speech, but by now that is the least of my worries. It was supposed to pull in all the data from existing templates so that all we would have to do is check over it and start from there. Well, no such luck. About seven of my libraries are missing in action. Well, all the libraries are there, but the menus are gone and Tuesday they're doing what they call a force publish. This means whatever we have undone goes up onto the sites that way. I've been getting gentle reminders that my work needs to be done, and I can't do it because the menus aren't there. So tomorrow I'll get back logged with work, providing they show up at all, and it will be yet another stressful day when I am not getting articles written. This is the world of work, Mom says. Well, if so then I should be getting paid somewhere in the world of reasonable wages. I think this week I will start actually tracking how much time I put into this. It could be an interesting exercise, and perhaps I can learn to make it translate into money.
But the point of all this is I'm scared of getting backed into a corner like that, mainly because of my crazy ups and downs physically lately. Usually I would just be mad. But today I am scared. Then again, I'm scared of everything today. I'm afraid of needing too much from people and being whiny, so I'm sitting here worrying about About.com instead of calling people and taking advantage of the $25 a month I pay for the ability to make weekend calls at no extra charge. I wish all my neighbors would move away or else my parents would give me the privilege of taking over their house for a week all by myself. And when I get in this frame of mind I go off on all kinds of stuff that isn't even an issue--I think my mind thinks it up until it thinks of something that gets me what I needed in the first place.