Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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missing Dori

For some reason, lately I've been acutely aware of the fact that Meghan is getting older... She is starting to put on weight again. I need to get it off before winter so she doesn't balloon up like she did last year, which means a lot more walking. Thinking about this has brought to mind all the walks we haven't taken, all the walks we could have taken...

I've also been telling Alexis stories about my work at the church when C was younger, when I had Dori. This, of course, combined with my back-dating project made me miss Dori. I'm now up to 2001 in the back-dating project, and I'm experiencing a lot of grief over times I never had with her. It was so hard for me to let her go, and I don't think that kind of loss is ever something I will "get over." I should have been walking with her for years and years, feeling her get slower and slower... When she got too tired to work anymore, I should have been hugging her and sleeping with her; and when she was ready to join Elli I should have been there at the vet with her. But I haven't seen her in over three years, and I miss her so much! I love Meghan, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. But it wasn't supposed to be like this with Dori!


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