Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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about my voice post silliness

Time to sit down and do some serious writing... I'm afraid my voice posts lately could create a rather immature portrayal of me if taken alone... I suppose I need to defend them a bit, and perhaps this will be the end of the nose discussions for a little while--and maybe the end of health discussions for a while.

Defend isn't really the right word for what I'm doing in talking about my voice posts... I'm not really ashamed of them. I said to someone the other day that being what other people want me to be has not gotten me anywhere. So I am me, and if it's too upsetting or immature or disturbing for this or that person, it's that person's prerogative to go away. I should say along with this that I do understand that there are conventions I need to adhere to in order to accomplish certain goals that I have set for myself. This is different from being what other people want me to be. I'll elaborate at some point when I'm talking about social skills instruction and self-esteem because I do think this is an important thing to talk about. But throughout the course of my life, I have often squelched pieces of my personality under the guise of "being appropriate," all while watching other people succeed at manifesting what was deep inside me without it damaging their relationships.

So my LJ is my place to let my hair down, at least a bit... Most of the time my postings are intended to provoke thought. However, coping with illness and the stress of low-income life and long-term concerns about searching for employment and wondering whether I would be able to retain a job in the event that I was hired does tend to require a bit of "spunk." Maintaining a bit of healthy immaturity and using it to celebrate something as silly as my nose behaving for a day helps me stay sane and keep a positive attitude. I spent far too many years living with a perpetual frown on my face, and it's a life I don't ever want to go back to. I still have quite a share of difficult days, and I need to be able to remember that they do pass. So when I make those phone posts and am acting like someone half my age, I'm creating memories that are absolute necessities for me.


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