Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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general update on school and health

There are essentially two weeks left: one "real week and then finals. I'm almost done with my first 12 hours of grad school. Did I really do this???

A couple of professors have made comments to the effect that if you just keep up with your work on time and learn the material, you should not experience anxiety about finals or grades. There ar other comments that I've overheard that are very silly and, in my mind, inconsistent thinking. Anxiety often is very complex, and it should be respected. A person can do all the assignments on time but have to do them in such a hurry due to the fact that there is a job or family obligations (or disability accommodations) pressing in addition to school that there is no time to let the material really soak in and become a part of you. That is not truly learning the material. It's cramming; even though it is not done overnight. When you get 80 pages to read this week for this class, 50 pages for that class, 70 pages for that class, and a couple of papers on top of it, you're cramming this week's material so as not to get behind when you cram next week's material. That's part of my general state of stress lately: I feel like I have been in a constant state of cramming. It's finals time, and I have to hope that somehow I can pull the right information out of my mind. For some courses I am less worried about it; but for other courses where it has been more difficult to follow the instructor's teaching style, this is extremely difficult.

But it will get done.

I am in the middle of a major arthritis flare. I always know it's coming when I can't come up from doing laundry in the basement without being extremely tired. That happened on Monday morning. That's the sign of a level 1, which I cannot feel. I am now up to pain in multiple sites that Darvocet sort of controls. This is in spite of being on Naprosyn 500 mg twice a day. I think it's time to call the rheumatologist and explore my options. I'm sort of afraid there are no better ones, just alternative ones. And it's relatively warm right now... It will be down in the 20s this weekend, and I hope that doesn't mean I will be in excruciating pain--while trying to study...


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