Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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melancholy ramblings

For my own benefit, I am noting that I took my morning meds--sometimes I do it and then forget... I also learned yesterday that Medicaid will only purchase one 9-pack of Imitrex per month. It's really not a big deal at the moment, but I used them up very quickly last month. GRRR!

Now on to other things...

I'm still having a hard time with my general schedule. I don't do well when I'm cold most of the time--and I AM. I'll learn to deal with it around the time it starts to warm up. At least it isn't below 0 here.

My house is clean, but I still feel like something is in desperate need of organization. Maybe it's my own mind. That seems to be an ongoing problem, and I'm not quite sure how to solve it. My head just always feels cluttered, and I think I would feel like an empty room was still messy. That's definitely a sign that the problem is inside me. I did very well for a while, and the only downfall I can point to is catching that cold/bug in October. Since hen, I've been battling this constant fuzz in my head that never quite clears. My thoughts feel like a radio station that can't quite be tuned in. I don't know what the solution is, and I'm very frustrated by it. I keep trying to get a little more sleep, eat a little better, do a little more activity... None of it works. My migraines are back... Is there some connection??? I haven't been good with my vitamins... Is there some connection? I'm too tired/staticky to chart the results, but I know that's the only way to find out. I wish that finding out would be meaningful to my doctor. But it will only be meaningful to me.

I don't like it when I write journal entries that wind up sounding defeated. I prefer the excited ones, even the philosophical ones or the ones where I'm enraged about something stupid... But if I wrote one of those today, it would feel like putting on a mask; and I don't want any masks unless they're hooked up to my CPAP machine... I'll cheer up eventually. I always do. I just sometimes feel like my LJ has some sort of life of its own.


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