I haven't figured out why I get all ready for bed and then get a second wind... It must be something about the pattern of napping and then waking up for a bit of studying. I must break this pattern before school starts again... My goal is to sleep at NORMAL times if at all possible. I do realize that occasionally late nights are necessary. Early in the semester is not the time.
Since I have not posted this in a text post and my non-phone-post-enabled friends deserve it ...
The eye doctor found scar tissue growing around my cornea implant. (I'm a super research case.) This is causing my vision to blur significantly. I told him, "I can pick up objects, but I can't tell one from another." He said, "MM hmm," like it made perfect sense to him. Eventually he will remove the scar tissue, which means more surgery. However, he didn't say when this would be. Apparently he's waiting until the severity of growth justifies the risk of the procedure--every time I have another surgery, there is additional trauma to my eye and risk of further vision loss. So I need it done, but it could cost me, and the doctors don't like to take that risk unless my vision is so compromised that I can't use it meaningfully. This is a bummer to me and one reason I had hoped that something could be done about my left eye. Since nothing can be done, I just have to deal with the situation and wait until things become severe enough to justify the procedure. My vision is not vital, meaning that it won't hurt me to lose it a bit at a time since I have alternative means of doing things. I am still able to use it right now in some meaningful ways, but it's irritating to know that a better outcome is possible but too risky.
The rheumatologist had better news for me. She changed my anti-inflamatory in case I had become too used to Naprosyn. It's entirely possible since I had taken it in the distant past as well as recently. I am now trying Daypro (sp.) and have noticed quite an improvement in the pain level in my hands. I've been able to stick with some tasks for quite a bit longer, and that's encouraging. She also prescribed LidoDerm patches for my back. I tried one last night and slept like a baby--and had no skin reaction. Today I was up doing laundry. This could be a sign of what has been bogging me down emotionally... One thing we discussed at some length was my difficulty in rating my pain: I either don't feel it at all or experience it as quite significant, and there is not much in between. My former family doctor's suspicion that I don't know what it's like to feel good seems more accurate than he might have realized. The rheumatologist asked about my mood, and I said that I was on medication and it was working fine. I have to wonder, though, about the intersection of pain and mood... Mood can certainly affect pain; but judging from my experience since changing medications, pain can affect mood. In that case, who's to say that a downward spiral hasn't begun regarding my pain and mood interactions? What does that say about other people's pain and mood interactions? Who is being treated for depression that should be treated for pain? I have to wonder... (Yes, I do know that people self-medicate for depression with narcotics, and that is another issue. But I'm speaking here of issues of medical disorder.)