Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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snow update

The main roads are getting cleared. Snow is still sort of blowing, but not as badly as yesterday. The sun is out...

However, a lot of people are trapped in their homes because the snow has drifted up against the doors. The snow is very heavy, and those who can get out are trying to shovel their driveways and side streets by hand. The rest just have to wait--either for the snow to melt or for someone nice to come and dig them out. The snow isn't that deep per se; but it doesn't really matter whether your door is blocked by five inches or 25. Blocked is blocked when you're stuck inside and the blockage extends out far and wide and can't be moved by shoving the door...

Anderson Community Schools are closed tomorrow. AU, of course, is still holding out on us, even though apparently they have had to bring in heavy equipment to clear sidewalks because walking on them is dangerous for students. The problem with AU School of Theology is that many of the students do not live on or near campus. We have a large number of people commuting from Indy, Muncie, etc. We have some commuting from rural areas; and many living in town don't live on the main roads. AU undergrad holding classes and AU SOT holding classes are two different things. However, if AU holds classes, AU holds classes. We still have quizzes, etc. At least, that is my understanding. So if we have class, those of us at SOT do try our hardest to go. We show up at class, as my recent postings demonstrate, when we should be home in bed, in the hospital, etc. Missing one class day means missing a week's worth of content. So despite the fact that I'm done being in the house, I do hope that there is no class tomorrow. It isn't fair to those who can't show up through no fault of their own.

In the fall of 2004, when I lived in Florida and the hurricanes hit, I felt something that I have never been able to describe in one or two words. People went around cleaning up their yards, etc, and there was nothing I could do to help. I couldn't even clean my own yard because I didn't know if it was safe to walk out of my front door due to downed power lines. I had to just sit and wait for someone to tell me that my yard was ok, and I was solely a recipient of aid. I could have cooked food to relieve people; but no one wanted it. There was no way that I could contribute to the welfare of the community, other than by passively hoping or praying behind the scenes that everything would be all right.

I feel that way now... I don't have a snow shovel; and even if I did, my physical ability wouldn't make a dent in this problem--and my dad has already taken care of our area. I can do nothing for the people who need help. I just sit here in my home, lights on, and study my homework, as if nothing is wrong. I don't know the words to describe how I feel... Useless. Selfish. I'm not selfish; but I am not doing anything to further community welfare. I am doing things solely for myself and my immediate household. Isn't that what selfishness is? What, exactly, does it mean when someone says, "I would if I could..."? I hate statements like this. I don't even want to hear them because they say nothing to me. I want to scream, "Well, you can't, so it's a nice thought and that's all." I would help people with their snow if I could. I can't, so they are left on their own; and what's worse, I need things from them on top of whatever they need from themselves, and I can do nothing to ease any of this burden. Not only am I failing to heal community; but I am making it worse by my mere existence as a person with disabilities. These things are not true, but they are how I feel at times like this...

What can I do to confront any of this? It matters... If I knew of resources where people could get help with blowing their snow, I could share the information. At least that would be something. But I don't. I have tried to make phone calls, be resourceful... I don't know where to look. From all that I can determine, everyone is on their own... But there has to be a way... I can't cope emotionally with this feeling of being a drain on the community...


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