Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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early morning update

Good morning... At least I hope it will turn into a good morning somehow...

The post-cold is here. That's the part where I hack for weeks and blow my nose a little more than usual and generally make people think that I'm someone to be avoided at all costs. I'm no longer aching or fatigued, and I'm reasonably certain that this is not contagious. However, I'm not able to hold Blake, and that hurts. I would have instituted that myself during the infectious phase; but I think I've had such a rare long stretch of good health that my family has forgotten the normal course of the common cold for me. I really am afraid this is becoming a pattern: I had one in October, and it's just about eight weeks later and here it is again. I could end up sounding "sick" most of the time but not actually being sick. I'm hoping there won't be any trips to the ER for asthma attacks, but I'm close to pulling out the nebulizer.

My doctor thinks all this is related to my allergy flare-ups, that I'm getting sick in response to allergic attacks. That wouldn't surprise me in the least. I am completely at a loss as to what to do about it. I am terrified that I am spiraling out of control again, and I just want a foothold! Last Monday he put me on Zertec, so my med count is once again rising--I'm at six daily and four as needed. I don't like these numbers at all. Some I can't change: I need my three eye meds, and that won't change for the rest of my life. I need m Topamax, and that probably won't change either. But there's got to be a better way to manage the allergy stuff, especially since I don't even think the allergy meds are doing anything but masking the real problems.

When I was in Florida, I handled this with nutritional supplements and essential oils. I wish I had kept better records about exactly what I was doing. At the time I was just fooling around... But this isn't Florida anyway. My allergies are much more severe here, and what I do could end up being completely different. So I need to keep the records now... I still have some oils. How good they will be after 18 months I'm not sure.

Another factor is I need to clean out the closets and cabinets and seriously get organized. This part isn't something I really want help with--the help would overwhelm me mentally and emotionally. I do want help with some of the deep cleaning stuff when I get to that point, but I'm not there yet. I'm managing the light cleaning stuff mostly ok. The main problem is I am lazy.

The only other thing I can think of to do is alter my diet, which is not a bad idea anyway. That's something that will take the most effort and be the most taxing emotionally. In order to eat in a way that "works" for me, I literally spend hours in the kitchen. A big part of that problem is just that I am slow and my kitchdn is small and everything gets washed out by hand (no dishwasher). If I could spend a couple of days a month cooking up some things to freeze and eat for dinner, that would knock out part of the time I spend in the kitchen every day. If I made up a huge salad and bagged it ahead for two or three days, that could help too. This all requires energy, which right now I do not have. And we haven't even discussed the issue of eating at other people's homes when invited. My diet is extremely limited due to the number of foods I've identified that cause reactions. My mom just thinks I don't like them and tries to slip them into whatever we're eating sometimes, and for a long time I went along and ate things anyway to be polite. But if I'm trying to manage a medical condition, I can't eat things to be polite. What do I do when I'm at an acquaintance's home--especially one who doesn't know me well--or, worse, a conference, and the entire meal is things I can't eat? This is not really an uncommon situation, and I expect it to become more common once I'm traveling to singing and speaking engagements. If I'm traveling, I can't just not eat and then eat when I get home--I may be staying in someone's home or eating conference food, and I can't subsist on snack food in my room... For one thing, most snack foods aren't on "the diet."

If you read all this, I appreciate it. I need a little miracle. My voice is gone and the coughing is already getting old. I'm very upset--I have a last song to fix for the CD and can't do it until I'm better. I'm going to minimal talking: answer phone, say I'm sick, hang up kind of thing. If I could see, I could go to writing; but it is impossible for a blind person to live without talking.


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