Loretta worked fairly well today but displayed some signs of fear of traffic which she did not exhibit last week. I am upset about this, and I think it is directly related to last night's incident in which a teenage driver screamed at us out his window as we were crossing a street. Other than the traffic fears, she did beautifully on the way to campus this morning. She even nailed the places where she had to pause briefly while I got my rolling computer bag off the curb without tipping it over, and we made it to class at her pokey rate in ten minutes less time than I made it with Meg at her speeding rate. It was hot, and I was not panting with exhaustion or aching with pain; and this all is good. It was much too hot to work the trip home, so I got a ride.
Life is ramping up in intensity. I am spending quite a bit of time on Hebrew homework, and C is now staying half days with me during the week and will be here on some weekend evenings. I won't have C next week, and I won't have Hebrew; but it is camp meeting week, and if I can handle the schedule there are some things I'd like to attend. I'm doing some baking for Mom this week, and I'm still hoping to carve out time for some personal projects.
Mom is the only person in the family who has been to church at Madison Park yet. Dad and Alexis left 45 minutes early yesterday--it only takes ten minutes to drive there. The cars were backed up for a mile. They turned around and came home. I am still having a lot of mixed feelings about MP. Quite a bit of the emotional reaction I'm having is about things that have been builting for a long time. My primary problem is that I feel very limited by the inability to get myself to and from church. I have quir Bible studies because of lack of transportation several times; and I have never liked doing this. It seems irresponsible to me, regardless of whether there is a reason for it. It seems irresponsible to change churches; but thinking about the limitations this open-spaces building puts on me causes me to realize how badly I want and need a church where I can participate fully and move around and come and go as independently as possible. There will always be things that will be inaccessible in life; but I think I can do my best to minimize them as much as possible. Especially as a person who is active in ministry, I think that it is important for me to take responsibility for my coming and going.
I'm feeling rather melancholy about this and about Meg. I was letting her out to relieve herself earlier, and I spent a minute petting her. I realized how much I will always miss her, no matter how much Loretta makes me smile. There is really no remedy for lost time with Meg, or with Dori; and I will always feel it from time to time.
The cats are upset. Sierra is alerting, and Inca won't let me touch her. I hope this doesn't mean that I will be too disoriented to work in the morning. Summer is not my friend.