Sarah Blake LaRose (3kitties) wrote,
Sarah Blake LaRose

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shoe and clothing shopping

We're leaving a bit later than I thought, so I had some time to rant...

Shoe shopping... Why do I hate it...? First, there are all the shoes that are made for people with extra-long toes. They even now have shoes with little things especially for your big toe! As soon as Mom said, "Your sister would wear them. Your cousin would wear them. I would wear them," I knew I was in for it. Anything I like seems to promptly get the classification, "Old lady." Ick! Supposedly it's because I can't see it. This implies that if I could see, I would make different (more socially acceptable) clothing choices. What if I could see and still made those same choices--because I happened to think something besides appearance alone mattered? Some people do. Then there's the fact that what's "in style" varies from year to year... What looks "old lady" this year might be perfectly fine five years from now. The only determining factor seems to be whether "everyone else is wearing it." Ugh! It drives me bananas!

Big, heavy awkward shoes seem to be in style right now. They are very hard for me to deal with for a number of reasons. I've had a hard time putting it into words, and it may not make sense to the average person. I get information from my feet. I want as little shoe between me and the floor as possible. I don't want weight on my feet because it makes moving my feet awkward. It's the same reason I don't like heavy clothing, although I don't have a problem with clothing that puts pressure on certain areas (namely my shoulders). I hate clothing that is tight in the middle--Mom tells me it makes me look good. I don't mind a little compromise, but I feel awkward with too much tightness over my middle and not enough elsewhere. I guess it messes up my image of my own body by drawing my attention to whatever part of me and making me feel exposed.

Texture is a huge issue for me in clothing... Now it's an issue for me in shoes, too. We found this pair of shoes that Mom thought would look really nice with my brown skirt. But they had this rope texture on them. I felt very strange about the idea of wearing something like that with a soft piece of clothing. I don't suppose it makes sense to people whose attention is drawn almost entirely to the visual. But to me it matters, and it's very frustrating to me that many textures I find in clothing and accessories are not enjoyable--and some are just plain offensive to me. This isn't necessarily a matter of me being blind and wanting to appreciate what I'm wearing, although that's part of it. It's also a matter of me being personally extremely sensitive to textures. If something is offensive to me, I react the way a person reacts to the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard--and I have to wear that all day. I don't know why I am this way. I just know that I am.


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