What a busy couple of weeks! It seems that my life has been constant rounds of caring for and entertaining C, cleaning and fixing food for myself, sleeping, trying to snag a few minutes of time to write here and there, and especially deleting a bunch of junk email! I really need to find a way to manage my email more effectively! Getting off some lists would be an excellent start, but I am an information junkie! I've also had a doctor's appointment and a hearing test thrown in, gone to church and choir practice less consistently than I'd like, and been trying to find time for scanning so I can have books in accessible format and working on my CD.
Overall, I feel like I'm doing fairly well, but I'm missing some of the time I have hated spending alone so much. I've always felt that the problem isn't that I hated being alone but that I hated what I call forced aloneness: aloneness that I don't have the ability or option to change. It's a bit like being grounded as a child. I might love spending time in my room and actually choose to spend 90 percent of my day there; but I hated being sent there as punishment.
The other thing that I'm dealing with is the issue of balancing tasks while C is here. I don't know anyone who can entertain a child for hours on end, and I know that J doesn't expect that of me. But I battle a fear that I may not do enough, that C will be upset with me and J will be upset with me because of this. It happens that my writing and scanning equipment is in the back bedroom, which is not where the toys are. But I think that perhaps I can move them in on the table on days when C is here so that at least when I'm doing something like working on writing projects or scanning a book I'll be in decent proximity to an area where she's playing or watching a movie. It's kind of a pain to think about tearing down and setting up the electronics, but it's really no different than doing what I used to do when I took my laptop to work every day because I was contracting on site.
I wrote my parents an email about the potential living situation change and the fact that I won't be giving up the cats. Mom responded that I had obviously been doing a lot of thinking, and we talked later about the fact that a number of things need to happen before this house can go on the market and the resources don't seem to be in place for those things to happen. So right now I am just letting it drop mostly. I do plan to go through a process to have Inca and Sierra certified formally as service animals because of their alerting behavior. I found an organization that will certify cats, and they asked me to write an article about the work I've done with my cats. I still feel a bit silly, but I also know that my cats have done some pretty unusual things and demonstrated trainability that I never expected or planned to look for.
I applied to seminary, and now I have to get my transcripts sent over from SFA to AU. I also looked into the lifelong learning program, which is a continuing education program for ministers and people preparing for the ministry. If seminary doesn't happen right away, I'll do the CE courses. I'm also taking courses through the Christian Blind Institute, a program sponsored by the lutheran Blind Mission. I'll have a lot more to say about these activities in upcoming entries.