Faith "invites God to answer with proof..." I've always felt something negative about challenging God. I don't think I've realized it, and I don't really know what to call it; but it's there. I took the idea that I should not doubt and turned it into the idea that I should not ask because I might be asking with doubt--and what a way to breed doubt! I didn't ask, so I didn't receive; and since I didn't receive, I believed that God wouldn't give. How can I turn that into faith? Well, for one thing, I need to look for place in my life where God *HAS* answered. My own testimony will build my faith if I let it.
As part of the "homework" for day 1 of Believing God, I'm supposed to write a one-sentence summary of Ephesians 1:11-23. I sort of understand that there is a point to this, but I always hated summaries and I always will; and I think I'm feeling very rebellious about this. There's so much more in those verses to write about! I think that's why there are 12 verses and not one!!! I would be shortchanging myself if I condensed that into one sentence. But I'll try... I was chosen to be a part of a group whom God blesses, and my belief opens the way for that blessing.
She talks about "present active participle believing..." Life is a maturing process. But how can that maturing happen if I only believe once and then sit back and wait for something to happen? It can't, and that's not relationship with God. That's making belief a work.
I really think I need/want to sit down and look more in depth at the relationship of this passage to what's in Ephesians 2. I know there are more references to faith there. One disadvantage of doing studies like this is that we lose the continuity from the original text. Not that I think I should abandon studies like this. They help me understand continuities from one book of the Bible to another. But I also need very much to see how the text of a particular book fits together.
I'm rambling here... I'm having a hard time "getting into" doing this "homework-style." I'm seeing that God wants to do something in my life, and my faith is required.
Ok, now here's something I can do (I think):
Lord, the biggest challenges I have before me right now are:
- Do daily tasks in spite of migraine symptoms.
- Be consistent with my Bible study.
- Meet my financial needs.
I know there are others, but I'm not thinking well tonight.
The deepest desires about those challenges are:
- To have no more migraine symptoms.
- To *want* to do my study each day.
- To not just squeak by financially.
From what I understand so far from my relationship with You and from Your Word, Your will seems clear to me about the following challenges.
- I need to persevere in spite of migraine symptoms.
- As I do my study each day, I will have more desire to do it.