Why is it that when I think I'm going to have a peaceful, positive couple of weeks, something goes weird and life doesn't go anywhere near the way I think it will go? I thought I was going to be spending this week relaxing and reading some new books I bought, doing a bit of housework, and working on the CD. Instead, I'm trekking off to eye doctors.
I am experiencing what I call "the gray curtain." I can see the glare from the sun, and my eyes seem to want to spin away from things as if they are too bright; but at the same time my eyes are not seeing anything. Yesterday in the parking lot at the store I couldn't follow Mom. But my brain kept trying to fill in images of things I heard, like the big refridgerator units holding the ice creams. It was very aggravating to think I could see something but know that I couldn't.
My first thought was that the Topamax raised my pressure. No. My pressure is 19, still within acceptable range although higher than I like personally. My cornea and implant look good. But Dr. P. said he wanted me to see Dr. Trese in Detroit about a retinal detachment. I don't know if it's new or the existing partial detachment I've always had. So I go there tomorrow, and I'm a little uneasy and irritable about it. I don't want to need more surgery, but I also don't want a false alarm because I don't want more mystery symptoms. If I don't have a retinal detachment, it could be that the problem is the effect of the topamax on my nystagmus or that the dosage is actually too high and I'm having breakthrough symptoms causing transient blindness like what I experienced during my teens. I don't want to have to change my Topamax dosage because I've finally found something that works. So maybe I should want to need more surgery. But I really just want to wake up and realize this was all a nightmare and it's time to get up and clean and read and work on the CD and get ready for my meeting on Friday. I haven't even talked about that yet. Oh well... I'm taking the laptop and my new charger in the car tomorrow, and I'll have all day to write about it.